WWBD?

A quick aside – my January Cure project completely dropped off the map mid-month. I will not be completing it in February, but will attempt to keep the apartment tidy and decluttered, as usual. My list still exists as a reminder of my goals for the year. I hope everyone who was participating in the project completed it to their satisfaction.

~~~

January was the worst month I’ve experienced in a long time. There were extreme amounts of stress, my SADs kicked into high gear, Brandon and I fought. A lot. And yet, it wasn’t all bad. Somehow.

Brandon and I put each other through a bit of hell last month, but I feel as if we’re stronger because of it. To this day, it can still be a bit odd when yelling at each other creates a closeness instead of all our previous relationships where everything would have fallen apart. It’s in those toughest moments that I know we’re right for each other. Even if I can’t stand the sight of him that day, I know we’ll be together in the future.

Although I made some missteps on my personal journey, I have no regrets. I gave up on myself, and that wasn’t right. But through that, I found a new inner strength. I realized I had something to fight for, and surprisingly, that I wanted to. My talents and skills shine a bit brighter now.

Lately, I’ve read some blogs that suggest picking a one word goal instead of resolutions. Pick one word, and attempt to live your life in order to bring more of what you’ve picked into your life. I’m going to attempt this for February. My word?

Empowered.

Doctor Whooch // Episode 079 // ‘Cuz DADS

Bye Felicia!

This week on Doctor Whooch, Danica and Brandon are talking about the BIG NEWS! Moffat is out. Chibnall is in. Also, there’s alcohol. AND SOUND EFFECTS. There’s a lot happening in this episode, including talk about the Chris Chibnall penned episode “Dinosaurs on a Spaceship” (Series 7, Episode 2). Brian Williams is in it! Rory’s dad, that is, not the news anchor. And also, terrible things are said. As always.

Outro music is “Pinball Wizard”

Podcast picture is by GIRL NAMED SHIRL PHOTOGRAPHY.

Subscribe to Doctor Whooch on iTunes

Brandon Schatz // Twitter // Facebook 
Danica LeBlanc // Twitter
Doctor Whooch // Twitter

Remembering Self-Care

I’ve been holding a lot of anger lately, and it came to a head last week. I should probably be surprised it didn’t happen sooner, what with owning a business and having a life together.

I was attempting to take control of my future, but Brandon didn’t see it that way at the time. We’ve since had multiple discussions, arguments, and screaming matches about what I want, what he wants, and what’s best for the store. Sometimes, those don’t overlap, and it’s easy to get bogged down in the muck and forget about the big picture.

Things are looking a lot brighter. I will be taking on the occasional side job for variety, extra income, and possibly my sanity. Some things, like owning a business or living in Edmonton, you must leave for a short time to really appreciate.

I’m proud of the work I do at the store, though it often doesn’t feel like enough. But I’m constantly figuring out where my balance lies, so I can give my full efforts to the store and my customers. This year, I’d like to establish a healthy work/life balance, and – this is a difficult part – be happy with what I can give the store and what I must keep for myself. I won’t let myself be shamed (whether by my inner voice or others) into working myself to the bone. Because, in the end, if I’m not healthy, the store will be affected.

Don’t Trust Men

Don’t trust men, ladies. Especially not when it comes to finances. 

Men are the reason I’m sitting in a Ricki’s on a Friday afternoon, a little drunk, and completely lost at what my next move should be. 

I put my trust in men, and I’m paying for it now. Literally and figuratively. I’ve no idea what to do next, and I’m pretty sure I’d be somewhere better than where I am now if I had made different choices over a year ago. 

I put my faith in someone who, for some strange reason, took it upon himself to completely destroy me. 

And now I’m left with nothing. No money, no power, no future. 

Pretty sure this will hurt me too, but I can’t stay quiet anymore. I can’t keep pretending that everything is fine, and everything isn’t falling apart all around me. 

What more do you have for me, world? How much more can you take from me? 

– Danica

Doctor Whooch // Episode 078 // UGLY CRYING

In which there are so many tears, you guys.

This episode sees Brandon and Danica finish up “Torchwood: Children of Earth”, so you know what that means. Ugly crying. THE UGLIEST CRYING. Also, Danica gets to punch Brandon a lot and wow, drinking for five episodes of Torchwood is some crazy business.

Outro music is “Bad Kids” by The Black Lips

Podcast picture is by GIRL NAMED SHIRL PHOTOGRAPHY.

Subscribe to Doctor Whooch on iTunes

Brandon Schatz // Twitter // Facebook 
Danica LeBlanc // Twitter

January Cure Update

Didn’t realize over two weeks had gone by without having an update, but here we are now. I’m okay with this, because I was usually working on the Cure projects instead of writing about them. Also, I’m not a huge fan of writing, so it’s very easy for me to procrastinate on that type of work. Let’s see what I’ve been up to since I last posted.

Kitchen

Haven’t done a ton in the kitchen, other than clean parts of it when the assignments called for it. Hung some damn art, but the other wall is still bare. It’s not terrible, and I think it will be a while before I get to shopping for some type of bar cart. I do want to get somewhere with washi tape, but have been busy and broke maybe? *shrug*

  • Decorate with washi tape to brighten the cabinets
  • Change over the tin foil in the oven
  • Replace dining nook light bulb
  • Hang some damn art
  • Figure out a better bar situation

Pantry

The pantry needs a deep clean. This will be a job I devote an entire evening to, as I will have to empty it out, sweep and mop the floor, scrub the shelves, then decide what goes back in and if it’s in a workable place for me to efficiently use.

  • Remove most items
  • Reassess how they are used and if they’re on the correct shelf for their function

Living Room

I’ve done most of the work here. The space is redesigned(not on the list, but inspiration struck one night), I have the beginnings of an office, and the boxes will be dealt with over time. Some art is up, and my To Go box is full, with another to be created for more things. Brandon and I are planning to do another round of decluttering our media(movies, music, comics, books) in February. Now that we have some additional floor space to spread out, it should be easier to filter everything.

  • Go through, declutter, recycle papers in all random boxes
  • Hang more art
  • Set up office space
  • Declutter movies and music (pushed to February)

Bathroom

This is the final large weekend project for the January Cure, so admittedly I’ve been holding off because I know I’ll get to it. Along with decluttering, all surfaces will get a deep clean.

  • Declutter under sink and medicine cabinet

Bedroom

I have filled a bag with clothing and have requested Brandon go through his things to fill another. My bureau is cleaned off and my nail polish is on display in hopes I use it more often. Debating recycling the broken laundry basket because I can still use it to take down sheets and towels when the other one is full of dirty clothing. It’s a small thing to concern myself with, but I’m going to hold off until the end of the month on this one.

  • Declutter clothing
  • Clean and organize top of bureau
  • Recycle broken laundry basket

Doctor Whooch // Episode 077 // The Smell of Pregnancy

In which we’re watching Torchwood again and the drinking is more appropriate.

Danica and Brandon are back with their first episode of 2016 with a slurry dissection of the first two episodes of TORCHWOOD: CHILDREN OF EARTH. Or is that Children of Man? Or Men? Brandon is not good with titles, even when he is sober.

There’s a lot of great stuff to talk about in this episode, such as Captain Jack’s complete inability to comprehend CHILDREN, but we also make time to talk about the recent SHERLOCK special where a white dude explains feminism to a room full of silent women. That’ll probably go over well.

Outro music is “Ghetto Superstar” by Pras featuring May & Ol’ Dirty Bastard

Podcast picture is by GIRL NAMED SHIRL PHOTOGRAPHY

Who You Are, Not What You Think

I am awful at being mindful. Just awful. Do you know how hard it is to be in the present moment ALL THE DAMN TIME?

In any case, it’s a good thing to strive for, but if you’re anything like me, you’ll stress yourself out more if you try to live it.

But back to me. I am trying to be better about being mindful. Last year, I was doing really well. Focusing my on my current emotion, not getting too far into panicked thoughts about the future or what I did wrong in the past.

But then I started a business. A business that women aren’t really welcome in, no matter what values the store starts out with. I was immersed in micro aggressions, off-handed comments about murdering a female character simply because they preferred the original male character, comments about me being an employee and expressing doubt when I stated I was an owner of the store.

I stopped being mindful because I started to fall into depression. The odd thing was, I didn’t realize it until months later. I had put an air of everything being fine. I had begun to believe the lie myself. I lied to myself every day because I thought since I own a business, I can’t be a person any more. I can’t have bad days. Everything must be “Great! How are you? How are the kids? How was your holiday?” I gave more of myself than I ever had before, and ended up losing myself in this persona I created.

Ironically, last year was the year I realized I deserved respect. Not from myself, of course, that’s the longer road I have to travel. But from others. Random customers who barely recognize my existence to people I should be able to trust. It’s taken me a long time to realize I am really good at my job, and while I still pass people along to Brandon, now it is because I know he has specific information about a comic series I may not have read, instead of fear.

As I try to be the best I can be in my work, I will circle back to being mindful. I’ll see if I can actually appreciate the small moments, like when a 7-year old tells me I’m the reason she comes to the store, when a woman tells me I’ve made a safe space for her to shop, when a friend tells me I’m doing great things for the comics community. It can be really difficult with all the crappy moments and casual sexism I see literally every day, but I will try and focus more on the positive. The moments that don’t make me feel like I should just wither, give up, cry, and disappear. I’m sure there are a ton of people that wouldn’t even notice I was gone, but it’s not for those people that I stay(seriously though, fuck those people), it’s for everyone I mentioned previously, but mostly, for me. When this job is good, it’s amazing. It brings me such joy to see people happy to read.

I’m going to keep fighting. Even if it’s only with myself.

Danica LeBlanc // Twitter

The Curtain Rises

Hi there, everyone – and welcome to Submet Industries.

As you’ve all probably noticed, we’ve been counting down to today which means… something. If I’m being honest, we’re not entirely sure ourselves.

When I started Submetropolitan a few years back, it was intended to be a repository for all of the various things I was doing around the internet. As always with my projects, I would work on it intermittently and refocus every 3-8 months as personal deadlines would slip by faster and faster. Finally, near the end of 2015, Danica and I had a long and frank conversation about how we see the next phase of our life going.

We’d already made some monumental changes in the past few years – moving in together, getting engaged, getting married, quitting our jobs and opening a comic shop being amoung the bigger decisions – and we suddenly found ourselves in a pool of relative calm. It caused us to really look at what we’d done, and finally think about what it all meant. What were we doing? Why were we doing it? And where will we go from here?

This new version of Submetropolitan – now titled Submet Industries – is an exploration of those ideas. It’s a purposeful take on personal pop culture and motivation, with roots dug deep into the culturally rich city of Edmonton. It’s for us. It’s for you. It’s for… something. Or possibly nothing. Again, we’re honestly not entirely sure what this will look like in the end… but we hope you’ll come on this journey with us.

Brandon Schatz // Twitter // Facebook 
Danica LeBlanc // Twitter