I’ve been spending a lot of time recalibrating lately. The world is always shifting, usually so slow we don’t notice the changes until suddenly, violently, we discover we’re not in the place where we want to be. It’s a slow, insidious creep followed by jarring clarity.
“How did I get here?” is a thought, followed swiftly by, “Where do I go from here?”
// HOW //
Inaction, pure and simple.
Last week, I wrote about the power of words, but I neglected to mention the power of inaction.
I pride myself on talking about taking action over merely using words. This is something that I seldom follow through on. At least in any meaningful way. I speak and I push, but I inevitably let fear lull myself into inaction – and as powerful as words can be, inaction can be even more powerful.
It’s through inaction that the world shifts around us, and it’s usually an action that finally jars us enough to realize we’ve become lost. As I start recalibrating, I do so with a purpose, with goals. Some of them are bound to hurt and all of them will come at some kind of cost, but if there’s some kind of purpose or action behind them, I should be able to shift along with the world rather than drifting away once again. Which brings us to…
// WHERE //
There’s a complicated answer to this.
If you had asked me a few weeks ago where I was going, I would point in a certain direction with the utmost clarity. Today, I am less sure, and if I’m being honest, that uncertainly is giving me calm.
A life can’t be lived with certainly. It just can’t.
A certain life is one that doesn’t give, that doesn’t bend. It asks a lot, and offers very little in return.
There are people in my life that I hold quite dear. There are people in my life that have been neglected in my quest for certainty. There was no give there, no space for their own plans to take root. And… well, if there’s no place for anything to take root, then nothing can grow.
The where… the where I’ve decided doesn’t really matter so much as the who of it all. I want to collaborate, and not dictate, and I want to do so without asking for and taking so much. I want to give more and I want to be open to a broader spectrum of ideas and directions – a future of possibilities and not possibility.
It’s a new day. It’s a new week. It’s a new start, and the life that unspools before me… it’s grand, and it’s mysterious, and… it will be happy, and it will be sad. It will have moments of connection and dissolution. It can and will be interesting.
It will be for me. It will be for you. Whatever that means, and where ever that leaves us at the end… who knows.
Let’s go nowhere in particular together, and see where it gets us.
Talk with you again tomorrow.