AuthorBrandon Schatz

Probably alone. Or still together, but also alone.

Probably alone. Maybe together, but still alone.

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Doctor Whooch // Episode 137 // The World Is a Vampire (Moleman)

In which we bid Devin adieu as we send him into the SEA…

…of our gratitude. Also, it is his last episode for now. Sad faces all around!

Well, it has come to this. The last episode of Miracle Day, and the last episode of Torchwood. It has been a ride. As Danica and Brandon bid a fond farewell to their season long guest, they all endure and episode where there is a lot of blood, and the world has two buttholes. And if you control the buttholes, you control the world, but only if you have special blood? Torchwood is wild, y’all. And there wasn’t even a lizard people conspiracy!

Outro music is “Deeper Than Beauty” by Sloan

Podcast picture is by GIRL NAMED SHIRL PHOTOGRAPHY

Doctor Whooch // Episode 136 // Cat Butt in the Middle of the World

Well, THAT took a turn. And that’s saying something… seeing how we’re still watching Torchwood.

Folks, Brandon, Danica, and Devin are almost done with this run. It’s the home stretch! The second last episode – Torchwood: The Gathering. In which a bunch of nerds meet up at the centre of the earth to cast spells or something? Who knows at this point. All we REALLY know is that there’s a thing with blood and possibly vampire mole men.

What. It could be a thing.

Outro music is “Explode” by Balthrop, Alabama

Podcast picture is by GIRL NAMED SHIRL PHOTOGRAPHY

Doctor Whooch // Episode 135 // Return to Bananatown

More Torchwood! Will Devin ever forgive us for making him watch these? WHO KNOWS.

Torchwood keeps being Torchwood in the eighth episode of Miracle Day. Apparently, three old white dudes wanted to live forever and so now things are really bad because people are dumb and horrible. But don’t worry! This can be solved with a dead lover, and fancy floor paneling.

So that’s what WE’VE been up to. Howsabout you?

Outro music is “End of the Road” by Boyz II Men

Podcast picture is by GIRL NAMED SHIRL PHOTOGRAPHY

Doctor Whooch // Episode 134 // Maintain the Thrust

Thrust is a very important part of Torchwood.

Very important.

Danica, Brandon and Devin are still trying to make their way through Torchwood’s “Miracle Day”, and have arrived at episode seven, “Immortal Sins”.

While Torchwood is usually a catalyst for (entertaining) trash, this week it actually opens up a good conversation about bi-sexuality in popular media. The perfect thing to discuss while drunk! Anyway, it’s not bad, because the flashbacks are good, but then it gets back to the plot, and that’s a horrible mistake, just like this season.

There. We said it.

Outro music is “Alejandro” by Lady Gaga

Podcast picture is by GIRL NAMED SHIRL PHOTOGRAPHY

Doctor Whooch // Episode 131 // Bitches Get Snitches

In which Devin has to moderate a domestic dispute.

Welcome back to (WHY ARE WE DOING THIS) a full on, deep dive into Torchwood: Miracle Day, with your regular hosts, Danica and Brandon, and our irregular host, Devin R. Bruce. On this week’s show: “Escape to L.A.”! It’s… interesting. At almost all times, at least one of us can’t remember the names of the Americans on the show, which is fun. Also, there’s a lot of yelling. TORCHWOOD.

Outro music is “Drinking In L.A.” by Bran Van 3000

Podcast picture is by GIRL NAMED SHIRL PHOTOGRAPHY

Doctor Whooch // Episode 130 // Getting Jacked

In which FINALLY, all the weird sex and terrible relationships we’ve come to expect from Torchwood arrive!

Welcome back to the sex house, babies! And the first and only episode we go out of our way to name check the man who put a seamless scene of butts together. Congrats, Michael N Knue – you did it! Anyway, Brandon, Danica and Devin are still trying to get through Miracle Day, and something terrible is coming. But in this episode, it’s just folks who are coming. Do… do you get it? Oh, you get it.

Outro music is “Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gay

Podcast picture is by GIRL NAMED SHIRL PHOTOGRAPHY

Doctor Whooch // Episode 129 // Forget it Rex. It’s Banana Town.

In which the world still has flip phones because OF COURSE THEY DO.

Danica, Brandon and Devin are back for more Torchwood for some reason. In THIS episode (entitled “Rendition”) we attempt to remember Rex’s basic-ass American name, with diminishing results. Also! Evil instructions are related through triangle, and Bill Pullman is not dead. Bill Paxton is. We checked. Like… the internet, not… not any bodies or anything. Oh god just stop typing.

Outro music is “American Girl” by Elle King

Podcast picture is by GIRL NAMED SHIRL PHOTOGRAPHY

Doctor Whooch // Episode 128 // 8 Shotguns and a Baby

Hello ladies. Hello laddies. We’re BACK.

Welcome to a very special season of Doctor Whooch, in which we dig into the final season of Torchwood (Miracle Day!) with a very special guest… Devin R. Bruce! He’s going to be here for all ten episodes and he’s very uncomfortable about it which means he’s perfect for the job. (He’s great.)

On this episode – we’re talking about Episode One entitled “The New World”. Inside: Danica kills English professors! Everyone has VERY LEGITIMATELY AMERICAN NAMES. There’s a baby with a shotgun? Probably! It’s Torchwood. And also, Rhys still isn’t dead, and Brandon can not handle it.

Friggen Rhys.

Outro music is “I Sat By The Ocean” covered by Gaba Kulka

Podcast picture is by GIRL NAMED SHIRL PHOTOGRAPHY

Scratch

The corners of my brain were itchy.

The corners of my brain were itchy, and I was staring at the many blank pages of my 2017 agenda.

Every year, I buy a new one, the blank pages filled with promise, and every year I end up staring at those very same pages, all too few with notes and tasks written on them as intended, even fewer with those notes and tasks fully executed.

As I flip through, I remember all my great plans. The burst of energy at the start of the year giving away to… giving away to another sea of nothing. Then very suddenly, the pages fill up once more, this time far more meticulous as everything falls apart and I cling to any kind of structure that I can find.

“Please remember to eat”, it reminds me.

“Water will stop you from dying, maybe.”

Many of these too, are left unchecked, which means I couldn’t even save myself when I needed saving the most.

The rest of the year gets better and worse, months of rebuilding, days of regret, weeks of half-hearted work giving away to nothing once again.

 

So.

The corners of my brain were itchy, and filling with regret. And hope.

I look at the calendar for 2018, and hatch a plan. I will get another agenda. I will do better, not just on those pages, but in general. I will hold myself accountable, and I will make and write and do.

I will be a better husband.

I will be a better me.

I won’t spend another December looking through an agenda filled with regrets, and think to myself, “another year wasted”.

I can’t.

As I get to the end of January, I’m already a little behind where I want to be. I was sick for a bit and it threw me for a loop, but… but that can’t be an excuse, because there’s always an excuse. Always. That’s why the agendas stay to empty.

And so, there’s this. A note from the middle of the night. A signal flare saying something… anything… selfishly for me. For today, it’s enough. It will calm my brain and let me push on to tomorrow which… will be better.

 

And so here’s to 2018. The year where it all happens, partly because I need it to, but mostly because I’ve always wanted it to. Every year. This is the one where it happens. Whatever “it” is.

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