I’ve been holding a lot of anger lately, and it came to a head last week. I should probably be surprised it didn’t happen sooner, what with owning a business and having a life together.
I was attempting to take control of my future, but Brandon didn’t see it that way at the time. We’ve since had multiple discussions, arguments, and screaming matches about what I want, what he wants, and what’s best for the store. Sometimes, those don’t overlap, and it’s easy to get bogged down in the muck and forget about the big picture.
Things are looking a lot brighter. I will be taking on the occasional side job for variety, extra income, and possibly my sanity. Some things, like owning a business or living in Edmonton, you must leave for a short time to really appreciate.
I’m proud of the work I do at the store, though it often doesn’t feel like enough. But I’m constantly figuring out where my balance lies, so I can give my full efforts to the store and my customers. This year, I’d like to establish a healthy work/life balance, and – this is a difficult part – be happy with what I can give the store and what I must keep for myself. I won’t let myself be shamed (whether by my inner voice or others) into working myself to the bone. Because, in the end, if I’m not healthy, the store will be affected.