All posts by Danica LeBlanc

Radio Free Skaro #655 // Her Majesty

Last weekend, at the Edmonton Expo, Danica was part of a Doctor Who panel that was recorded for this week’s Radio Free Skaro! 

If you’re in the mood to hear more (and there’s a lot more) head over to the Radio Free Skaro website where you’ll get a jam packed episode. Turns out, one week away from the big Series 11 premiere, there’s a lot to cover…


Some other times some misguided folks invited us onto their podcasts…

Presence and Present

The world is going to heck, and I’m pretty numb to most of it.

I’m not alright with that, you should know. I wish I could feel things as strongly as others. Perhaps it’s part of growing older, perhaps it’s my heavy depression and then the anti-depressants after that. Who the heck knows? I’m mainly just disappointed in myself for not being present in this awful, awful world. For not doing all I can to make it better.

The trouble is, I’ve gotten very good at pretending that things are good, and too good at lying to those I love to know the difference now. Am I actually good or am I lying to myself again? That’s where I get confused.

Things *are* good right now. The store is doing really well, Brandon and I are stronger than ever, but my brain meats are being dysfunctional. I wish I could sit back and be happy with right now, but that’s never been who I am.

Kings of Nothing

I’m frustrated.

Frustrated at all the people who see silence as a preferred behaviour. Frustrated at those who think only of winning. People who want to stand on their tiny mountains at the end of the day, and feel proud they destroyed as many as possible. Those who push others down to stand on their backs, perceiving this as “standing tall”.

At the end of your days, standing on top of your shit mountain isn’t worth it.

Whatever you think I’m writing about, you’re right. I’ve been watching people come forward and attempt to change the system (any system), only to promptly get squashed down by others who feel more comfortable with the status quo. Who are terrified of any change, lest it take away some of their power within their tiny ecosystems. Rumours begin to spread, the poison takes over. Because that’s what this all is. Poison. And those who are dolling it out are wearing gloves. In their minds, they’re blameless because they’re not touching the poison directly. But it’s still out there, hurting people.

We’re all here for a short time, and if there is some kind of afterlife – everyone is going to know you’re an asshole for eternity.

Was and What’s Next

One of the benefits of this job has been the ability to walk to work and sometimes, see sunrises like this one.

Changes abound in my life these days. I’ve been working full-time at a large company for the past month, and although the job has been satisfying in a lot of ways, it’s been draining my energy. I’ve chosen to end my contract at the original end date of December 1, rather than extend it. That was an option, but I knew that working full-time and trying to cover the store in the busiest retail season would have been a mistake for me. I know how I feel when I burn out, so these days I’m better at preventing things before they get started. Sure, an extra three weeks of pay would have been nice, but I’m done choosing money over my health.

I had my doubts, because it has been an enjoyable job, but I feel that longing to be at the store. I know there’s always much to do, even if it doesn’t support me financially. I feel that when I’m there more often, I’m closer to my goals.

Thanks to a friend’s referral, I have a lead on a part-time position at another office, so I’m pursuing that. That way, I can be at the store at least half the week, rather than a smattering of hours throughout and Saturday (though Brandon and I still intend to continue our weekend schedule).

SaveSave