Written to the tune of Thirteen by Big Star for some reason or another.

As I attempt to beat this keyboard into submission, I’m greasing the wheels by hitting up some easy fodder – specifically, a pet peeve about how certain people conduct their business. There’s a story, of course. There’s always a story.

The following happened an undetermined number of days ago, and is paraphrased due to my inability to remember specifics.


A man walks through the front door of the store. Danica and I smile and greet the man. We ask him if there’s anything he’s looking for in particular. He is not (he is). After spending a bit of time wandering, I decide to see if the man is in the mood to chat. I attempt to talk to him about comics while he peruses our $1 comics sundae bar. He reacts positively, and there’s a bit of a back and forth. And then:

“So how’s the store doing?” the man asks.

“Pretty great, actually,” I say. And it’s true. The store is doing far better than we had originally predicted, and I’m glad, because it means I get to sleep at night instead of living in a world of terribly night sweats.

His face scrunches up with confusion upon taking in this information, “Really?”

The word is positively dripping with disbelief. My face shifts from a mask of actual happiness to one that merely appears to be smiling. I spend the next few minutes talking vaguely about business specifics while he casually retorts with scepticism – after all, how could you possibly make money selling comics?

Eventually, he leaves empty handed. As it turns out, he was never interested in checking out comics, but wanted to know why such a store existed and decided to ask in one of the worst ways possible.

Danica and I ended up having a quick conversation after his departure in which we are both amused and enraged. To this day, I remain flabbergasted by the whole ordeal. And the worst part? It will happen again. It won’t be the same person, but someone will still ask with the expectation of doom and gloom. All I can really do is run the best god damn comic store that I possibly can alongside my dearest companion, and our intrepid business partner. Because the best revenge is always living well.

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