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Just a Conversation

John : Hey there, how you doing?

Mary : Aye, matey!

John : Huh?

Design is not just what it looks like and feels like. Design is how it works.Steve Jobs

30.

  1. Day two of being 30 and I’m already exhausted. This is life now. Everything is crumbling. Tell Danica that I always loved her.
  2. But of course, it’s not as bad as all of that. Yesterday, we worked at the shop (because of course we did) and then Danica took me for eats at Canteen – one of our favourite places in the city. The food was brilliant as always (any place that can prepare lamb well for a reasonable price is aces in my book) and the company was dazzling so… all in all, a great birthday.
  3. As the store enters it’s fourth full month of being open, Danica and I are making another big change – we’re heading back into the city into a brand new apartment. We’re both really excited about this – and will be right back in the Oliver neighbourhood, right close to the store. It’s going to be so nice to do away with the hour long commute that we currently have going. It’s nice living out of the city, but the lack of free time has been taking it’s toll.
  4. Had a visit from my mom and sister on Saturday, and they brought with them six boxes of books and comics that I still had left at my mom’s place. We had been meaning to go back and clean them out for a while, so it was nice for them to arrive – though a little strange to get a box of memories delivered to you on your 30th birthday. I’m pretty excited to go through some of them and relive some memories from my youth.
  5. The month will be filled with writing. Have a new task app that seems to be pushing me forward in all the right directions, so hoping I can stick with that and keep things moving. With any luck, I’ll nab enough free time to talk about that this week – but I also want to write up roughly 6 retail posts for Comics Beat as well, so there’s that. Hopefully something will get done this week. We’ll see… we’ll see…

5…

So I guess I’m turning 30 in 5 days. Which is a thing. And so like clockwork, here comes the pledge to start blogging more.

I know. This will all end in tears. Or more accurately, inactivity. But look: there are a few things that I still want to do. In my first 30 years, I got myself born, graduated high school, quit college when I realized it would lead to a pile of debt and unhappiness, built my life to the point where I own a comic shop and write for a reputable comic book news and commentary site, and managed to trick the most beautiful woman in the world into marrying me. So uh… that was pretty great. Now all I need to do is to accomplish something with my writing, and that’s gotta start somewhere. So why not from the wad of fear that’s welling up in my chest as I near a weird milestone on the road to my inevitable demise?

Fuck you, death. Shit is about the get real.

Let’s fucking do this.

Hashtag yolo

Doctor Whooch // Episode 052 // Be A Sexy Metaphor

In this week’s episode, we had a bad day and watched Torchwood to feel better about ourselves. At least there was alcohol.

Outro music is “Forever Young” by Youth Group

Podcast picture is by GIRL NAMED SHIRL PHOTOGRAPHY

Oh Archie

Mostly just so I can get this out of my head.

So Archie Comics is relaunching their main Archie title in July with comic superstar’s Mark Waid and Fiona Staples establishing a new aesthetic. As I understand it, this pair is guaranteed to stick around for three issues. Staples is busy with Saga and is making the time, and Waid… well, who knows. The dude is really busy, so who knows. There’s three issues for sure. That runs July, August, September. Do you think they’re holding the previously announced Lena Dunham arc for the title in October, making a big splash at New York Comic Con? Or, do they save that for the inevitable relaunch of Betty and Veronica? I think it all depends on budgets, and what the company has lined up.

Anyway. For whatever reason, I had to spill that out there. Continue with your day. Thank you.

Doctor Whooch // Episode 051 // Bacon Hipster

In which we bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon.

This week, we watch The Three Doctors, and finally check in with The Curse of the Fatal Death – and we have various opinions that we can’t quite remember. Because: alcohol! But more importantly, we go off the rails all the time, talking about various meat liquors and Clone High, and all sorts of various shenanigans. It’s a good time. Also: we’ve done more than 50 episodes. That is crazy.

Outro music is a cover of “Anaconda” by Scott Bradlee & Postmodern Jukebox

Podcast picture is by GIRL NAMED SHIRL PHOTOGRAPHY

If I Booked Wrestlemania

Because I need a break from doing things, and I’ve honestly spent too much time thinking about it.

Fatal Fourway Tag-Match: Cesaro & Tyson Kidd (C) vs. Los Matadores vs. The New Day vs. The USOs

Cesaro and Kidd win it, and they win it while running at full NXT level, with giant swings, and the whole deal. They get a chance to be indomitable, and they get to build them. Now unfortunately, who wins this match isn’t really a concern, because unless WWE takes time to refocus their tag division immediately after Wrestlemania, who has the belts doesn’t really matter. It should, and I think letting Cesaro and Kidd cut loose on the big stage, and demolish the other teams, laying ash to the past “season” of tag to let something new emerge from the ashes would be tops.

2nd Annual Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Lots of people in this one. Given my druthers, since they’ve split up the Goldust/Stardust story with this and the Intercontinental ladder match, this should come down to The Miz and Damien Mizdow. They should work together until the very last, and Mizdow (surprise!) turns on The Miz, and gets in a few hits, before The Miz flagrantly cheats (preferably with the help of a “new assistant”). This would set up a specific grudge match for the next PPV.

Basically, anyone else winning this match makes no story sense, I think. But that doesn’t mean WWE won’t just give this one to Sheamus or Kane of The Big Show, just because.

Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton

Orton wins this one. Always have your returning hero strong. Besides, I think Seth Rollins will get to have his moment later in the show, and having him win this, clean or otherwise, would make a bonus encounter at the end of the show meaningless.

Some have said Rollins or Orton will throw this match specifically so that Rollins can cash in his Money in the Bank contract fresh on the winner of the main – and I think that works, but only if they don’t tip their hand until Monday Night RAW. If it becomes obvious that Rollins is getting a pass in this match, then clearly he’s going to cash in later – and the cash in should be a surprise, if it indeed happens.

A.J. Lee & Paige vs. The Bella Twins

AJ and Paige should win this, but they’ve sown the seeds of discontent between the two on a recent Raw. I’m hoping for a clean win for AJ and Paige, and a fight afterwards between all four due to legitimate misunderstandings, and not “jealousy”, setting up the division with four viable contenders for a belt with no real contenders. Also, this match should be a huge throw down. Anything less than an NXT style women’s match would be completely tone deaf.

The United States Championship – John “Jern” Cena vs. Rusev (C)

Cena wins this regardless, because AMERICA. Plus, they’ve been chipping at Rusev’s supports lately. Were I to have a dream situation, Rusev would wreck Cena, and change the title to be the Russian Championship. That said, given that I’m 100% sure this won’t happen, giving Cena the US Championship at least “legitimizes” the title. Or at least if his ego allows him to “elevate” the belt instead of making him believe he’s punching down. If Cena really is WWE, he’ll take the chance to embolden then company, rather than his own perception. (But if that were the case, wouldn’t he put over Rusev, seeing how the dude probably has a longer career ahead of him than Cena does at this point?)

The Undertaker vs. Bray Wyatt

Wyatt should win this. What started with Lesnar should be a “good-bye trilogy”. Leans breaks the streak, and gives his unstoppable monster gimmick some more credibility. Wyatt beats ‘Taker, and hands the mantle of “resident creepy demon” over to a guy who will definitely be sticking around longer. (Bonus points if there’s a big “transfer of power” spectacle.) And finally, Take wins against… well, someone (I’d hope Cena or Triple H – two dudes who are big and COULD put ‘Taker over without much branding damage) at Wrestlemania 32 as his grande finalé, because a) the dude should go out on top, and b) that’s gonna’ be a “hometown” Wrestlemania for ‘Taker.

Intercontinental Championship Ladder Match – Bad News Barrett (C) vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. R-Truth vs. Luke Harper vs. Stardust

Daniel Bryan has to lose, but just barely. He has to almost have it, and then Ziggler or Ambrose does a real hard heel turn (and I mean really, viciously hard) and snatches it from him, giving one of WWE’s highest profile guys a reason to chase this belt so hard, and give it some power. Given my druthers, I’d have Ambrose really turn the screws, for reasons I’ll go into in a bit.

Sting vs. Triple H

Sting has to win this. At the very least, he can’t win clean, but Sting absolutely has to win this, because literally nothing else has a point.

WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Brock Lesnar (C) vs. Roman Reigns

I want Brock to win, and have Seth Rollins cash in. And not just cash in, but whoops, Paul Heyman alliance switch and whoops, Roman Reigns in helping out Seth Rollins because Rollins is the “master architect” and he lost on purpose, and concocted this situation where also Dean Ambrose comes in and helps out because THE SHIELD ARE BACK AS MEGA HEELS and this sets up the first Brock Lesnar face match as he takes on The Shield at Summerslam or something.

Can’t Wait

So I was so happy when we signed the lease for Variant Edition, because I thought our days of waiting were over. Ha ha. Hhahhahhaaahhaaaaaa. A-heh. No. They are not.

As it stands, we’re waiting anywhere from two days to two weeks to hear back about… everything else that needs to slide into place. I’m starting to get restless. Relying on outside forces has never been my strong suit, and I tend to go a bit stir crazy when I have to, so this has not been fun. I keep thinking about what will come out at the end of all of this, and it calms me. But we’re not there yet.

So what now? Well, I’m spending the weekend getting the full Variant Edition site up and selling, because why not. We have the license, we can officially operate. Why not operate! Soon after that, we’ll announce the official launch of the store and our grand opening day. And shortly after that… well, the first little bit will be a different kind of stress, but at least it will be the kind of stress I can deal with. I know the process of selling comics. I just want to do that.

Come onnnnnn.

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